Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
