OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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