Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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