Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
