I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize