JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
