your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
