carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
