that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
