Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
