this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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