I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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