Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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