it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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