This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
