Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
