I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
