go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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