If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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