Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Randomize
