She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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