I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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