Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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