He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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