I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
