Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
