omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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