HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
