sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize