I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize