Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
