GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Sext me about skeletons
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