I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
