Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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