STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Randomize
