Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
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Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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