is your mom at the bar?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
