Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
