Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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