you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
