Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
