ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid