I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell