I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.