I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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