So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
birth control should be required to get into college
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
