I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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