You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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