I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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