it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
