I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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