do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
