Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
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Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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