Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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