she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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