I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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