I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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